23/03/2026
So. Here we are. The end of the road.
I’ve gone ahead and spoiled the result on the day as Great Northern was hooked up as IV fluids and was pulsating through my veins. Apologies. But for the final time for this season, let’s have some fun.
The clouds were around all week and every single bloke in the chat had an opinion about the weather like they were Gavin Norris in his prime. We all knew nothing and were all wrong. Luckily. A shoutout to our curator Geoff who spent the entire week preparing a delicious wicket for us to get a game on. He’s been given praises all week and weekend, one more can’t hurt. The sun decided to finally grace us with its presence and ladies and gentleman, we had a grand final to play.
There was a silence amongst the shed as we saw Captain Tim walking with his head high and chest out but quivering legs as he wandered to the middle. The Old Boys were flying after losing every toss. Up goes the coin, our opponents call it… they lost it. We won. Nerves set in. Tim walks back and says ‘well actually, I didn’t win, they just lost’. I took absolutely no comfort out of that statement and was even more nervous to start. Thanks Tim. Never the less. The Old Boys will be batting.
Andrew Fensom came out of the gates the only way he knows how and that’s try and hit every ball over the fence. That worked for about 5 minutes after copping one to the lower half of his beer belly. Some heart and mouth stuff as the ball was airborne for a lot of his innings before being fired out LBW. As like every cricketer, he pleaded his innocence but it fell on deaf ears. He did feel the need to pull his pants down on multiple occasions to show people where the ball had hit. Even people that were just trying to get lunch and that didn’t ask. Weird. Fitzhenry a.k.a The Sponge was there for the long haul. 83 balls faced for 39 runs and like a dodgy concreter, laid the foundation for the Old Boys. He later gifted the ball back to bowler and was caught and bowled 37. Cal was back to his trademark self and pressed go from ball one. Technically sound shots and gorgeous hitting before holing out for 22. Zac Sneddon decided to actually turn up for once. 22 off 16 before his body capitulated and another amputation of vital limbs was on the cards. The bloke is all out of luck with injuries and needs to be studied. Sam Parkes, Sam Coles, Tim Mason and Lucas Roberts were not really interested in contributing much at all to the team with the bat and decided that lunch, beer and a chat was more important. Combining for a measly and embarrassing 17. You’d think after being not so good with the bat, the confidence would be down for some… we’ll get there soon.
Jeff Keating was one again stranded 96 short of a hundred. Jesse decided a duck was plenty for him and Jono wasn’t wearing a helmet. Lucky he had a hat on after shaving his head. We’d all be blind. We’ll also get there soon.
I tried to work in a bald joke there, I may have played and missed.
In the end, the Old Boys in their last batting innings for the year, knock up 9/140 after 35.
Onto the bowling.
Strap in. It gets wild.
140 runs on the board is honourable. It’s defendable and in a grand final, it’s a lot of pressure to get. There is no next week or try again later. You get them, or you don’t.
The Old Boys were alive from ball one. Every single delivery was met with a symphony of applause and witty banter. Yes I know I’ve used symphony twice in 2 write ups, it’s a nice word. Cal and Timmy led the charge with pumping the boys up in the middle. Tim in his usual emotionless chat (lucky he’s our captain, we have to listen to him) and Cal by calling everyone different swear words had the Old Boys ready to run through brick walls. Over 1 saw Jono keep it tight. Not letting too much off the spot. The type of bowler you need in a side that’s consistent and gives the 2nd opener the best chance to attack and get a team on the front foot and let me tell you… it worked. Great players don’t get down with low confidence, I told you we’d get there, here we are.
T. Mason from the other end in over 2 steams in. Edge, dropped by Fensom, taken by Fitzhenry. The appeal is loud, the umpire agrees. The first one falls. Every fielder celebrates and comes together, the captain roars and the Old Boys are in this game. Next ball, dot. The crowd settles, the Old Boys walk in with intention, down comes the arm of Mason and down go the bails. Bowled. The boys are up again. Electricity is in the air. Something special was unfolding. More swear words from Cal get thrown around and Tim kind of looked a little nonchalant if I’m honest.
Jono and Tim pile on more pressure with 2 more overs of consistent, fast bowling that puts the Tah’s on the back foot. There’s a lot of runs to get and 2 wickets have already fallen. In sports sometimes, you have ‘where were you’ moments. The ones that get brought up at a pub when you dig through sports history. The ones around a campfire with your family and friends. The ones that get put in the history books. My friends, another one was about to unfold before our very eyes. T.Mason. Ball in hand, 2 wickets for 7 runs already in the back pocket, in a grand final. In comes Mason, ball comes in, front foot defence, chopped on! The Old Boys grab a 3rd. Elation, energy, joy - take your pick, we felt them all. It didn’t end there, the very next ball, short, off the glove of the batsmen, caught by Fensom, the appeal, all fielders on there knees, pleading the umpire, Fensom almost loosing his lunch and finally the finger goes up. 2 in 2. Tim Mason was on a hattrick in a grand final. Unfortunately, the next ball squeezed past the bat and stump and a breath of relief for everyone. Some to be thankful there wasn’t another wicket, others to catch their breath. Final ball of the over, Mason in again, fires it in, struck on the foot, Old Boys appeal louder, the crowd appeals, the magpies in the tree appeal, the square leg umpire appeals and the finger is up again. Tim Mason has taken 5 wickets in 3 overs. A great sporting moment. One of the best 10 minutes of cricket I have ever seen in my life. One to give goosebumps to anyone watching.
The Old Boys were far from done. Jono decided to get a piece of the action. Sick of Tim getting all the accolades, he runs in fires one down, played off the pads and straight to You Know Who, skipper Tim at short mid wicket, straight into the bread basket. At this point I was so exhausted of having to keep running into the celebrate, I was literally gasping for air. The Old Boys have Waratah Mayfield 6-14 in 7 overs in a Grand Final. I need a drink after that.
The Old Boys decided to keep everyone around for a bit longer to keep spending money in the canteen. It wasn’t until over 16 where Fitzhenry gets in on the action. The Tah’s needed runs and need them fast. Fitzhenry bowling a trademark pie gets dispatched out to cow corner. Fielding out in the deep next to Chopper, my mind immediately backed him out after seeing his little legs pumping to cover the ground. At no point while this ball was in the air did I have any faith he was getting anywhere near it. However… like a thoroughbred who’s just been gelded (look it up, it’s gross and I don’t wanna explain it) he kicks into his 5th gear and after covering 30m in a flash, the ball sticks! Up go the crowd, Old Boys and the magpie again. Chopper, clicked into 6th gear for his celebration which was a fast version of Warne’s 700th test wicket. All 115kg’s of me was hurdling towards Chop in an attempt to cuddle him amongst other things that were on my mind. What a catch, what a moment. 7/44. Jesse decided to get his name up in lights and boy didn’t he. After a duck in the batting, he was never going to lie down. In he comes off his 2 and a half step run up, the front foot of the batsmen comes down, misses, pad first, appeal, magpie, OUT. 8/44. Im getting through these quicker because my fingers are starting to fail me on this phone.
Usman for Tah’s, a power hitter, started to put some of the boys back over their head for boundaries. The last flickering light of a comeback for his side. That was until he went for one too many, blasting one towards the boundary. Roberts circles in the deep and takes a good catch on the boundary. 9/65. One more to get and the Old Boys are champions. Jesse, 2 wickets to his name, runs in, batter plays, misses and that gorgeous woody rattle that ever batsmen hate but it’s is utterly adored by the bowlers ring out over the ground. Bowled.
The Glendale Old Boys are champions once again. Streakers rush the field. (Just Jase and unfortunately he was fully clothed. Zac tried but it was more of a limp/leg drag, bless him)
A special game, a special night, a special team.
Congrats to the boys from Waratah Mayfield for making the grand final and playing it in a truly good spirt. It was a pleasure to play you and we look forward to our future battles!
Remember when I said we’d be blind. We now arrive here. The beers were flowing in the sheds post-match and Tim Mason whacked down about 13 sausage sandwiches. I think that’s even more impressive than the 5-fa to be honest. We decided we should honour the day and night by a champagne toast, under lights, out in the middle. Much to Geoff’s dismay, we also thought we’d try and bowl a ball on the freshly mowed, watered and fertilised pitch. In comes Jase, the arm rolls over and then a slip, fall and 36 cubic tones of soil comes out of the pitch. Bear’s champagne went of early and decided its best use was to engulf Jase with the spray of champions. He wasn’t a fan and neither was Geoff telling us to Eff Off his pride and joy. Some of the Old Boys took their talents to ET’s to parade around like idiots. I am included.
Sunday morning came around, we were broke, sore, sick and foggy but the medal around our neck still sparkled bright.
2025/2026. A season to remember. The Old Boys back in the winners circle. Champions again. Heroes unveiled and underdogs finally getting their day.
To the fans, friends and family. Thank you for taking the ride with us. Thank you for the support on the page, write ups and graphics. We love you all.
We will be back, to do it all again. Goodnight.
Up the Old Boys! 🏆🏏☀️
